Dating people in the


12-Jun-2016 20:56

Meredith: I'm a trans woman who's 5'5", so average height for women in the States and shorter than most trans women I know.As someone who mostly — though not exclusively — dates men, I feel like my height has helped me a lot with dating, because men unconsciously perceive me as "normal," and I don't activate their unconscious transphobia as badly.Plus, navigating the world of dating is already a mess, so being on an extreme end of any physical spectrum doesn't exactly make it any easier.Kevin: I'm not one to complain about being short, because once you realize you can shop in the children's section and climb on top of things to get to out-of-reach objects, you're pretty much on a level playing field with the rest of the world. I think a lot of guys fetishize the height gap and say things like, "I'm so into you because you're so short," or "It's really hot knowing that I could lift you up in bed," etc.I understand everyone has their preferences, but it's always been the most baffling thing to me how some people unabashedly put things like "Under 5'10" need not apply" right in their profile, dismissing someone right off the bat based on something so superficial.Though in fairness, when I see someone write something like that, I immediately lose attraction to their personality anyway.I've been told more than a few times that "there's no way I can tell you're trans," and that helps men feel comfortable dating me.

And since I also have a wider frame, I've always felt a bit stockier than I'd like.

I think the bigger issue is how comfortable random men are talking to me about my body.

My height isn't a purely aesthetic feature you can comment on candidly, like a coat or a hat.

So, contrary to popular belief, my dating life on the whole has actually been more successful after transition than it was before, as a cis gay man.

Back when I identified as a gay man, my short stature was a liability, since the mainstream gay world is into tall, muscular guys.

There's nothing I can do about my height to resist these norms, but I can certainly say that I'm not a "small" person, aside from physically, and guys come to see that soon after meeting me.



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