Little sex in dating relationships
"What seems to happen is that if couples become sexual too early, this very rewarding area of the relationship overwhelms good decision-making and keeps couples in a relationship that might not be the best for them in the long-run," study researcher Dean Busby, of Brigham Young University's School of Family Life, told Live Science. The intricate nature of sex Past research on sex and its link to relationship quality has revealed two different paradigms.
In one, sex is considered essential to a developing relationship since it allows partners to assess their sexual compatibility.
He added that those couples who wait to be sexual have time to figure out how trustworthy their partner is, how well they communicate, and whether they share the same values in life "before the powerful sexual bonding short-circuits their decision-making abilities." Right now, the team is repeating the study on a larger sample in a longitudinal design – in which participants are followed over time.
"We are particularly curious about people who report wanting to wait to be sexual but then they don't follow through on their beliefs, this may be a unique group with unique outcomes," Busby said.
Delaying sex makes for a more satisfying and stable relationship later on, new research finds.
I always ask what reasons they give themselves or their mate for their refusal.
As a therapist I am of the opinion that one might learn to love and desire a long term partner in some way and it’s certainly worth a try, especially when there are children in the relationship. “We’re too old for sex” or “I can’t have intercourse any longer.” Mistaken beliefs such as an age cut off for sexual activity or that sex depends on erections and naturally lubricated vaginas eliminates much joy from an individual’s life. Some event like illness or a new baby will interrupt the couple’s normal sexual schedule, supposedly temporarily, but sexual relations just don’t resume.