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Since you have to “Like” people, or swipe right, to get any chance of interaction, Doug and I both swiped right on 100 people (no rejections, or left swipes) to start things off. Oh man, that first night we were on Tinder, I was over at Doug’s place and my phone was just going off.Before I had even finished my swipes, I’d already matched with a guy who immediately called me a cunt and then blocked me, another dude who so eloquently complimented me with “Nice research beeyotch,” and about five other men who just sent a “Hey,” meaning they really didn’t look at anything on my profile besides the pouty-lipped, blonde photo of me. Out of the 100 guys I swiped right on, I immediately matched with almost a quarter. Guys were messaging me (“hey” more than anything) telling me I was beautiful, asking about my research, more.It made him feel a little bad, I think, seeing that if we ever broke up and had to use this app for real, I’d get way more immediate action than he could expect.I’m convinced this has way less to do with a disparity in our levels of attractiveness than the fact that, as I later found out, men have a tendency to swipe right three times more than women. More than 40% of my matches messaged me despite my asking them not to, while only 6% of Doug’s matches reached out to him.For so many of my single friends, Tinder has become a necessary evil.Yes, it’s full of complete assholes begging for nudes from the get-go, but you know, a girl will still hold out for the right person amid a slushpile of grunted boob requests.“It could involve sex with a partner, but it may also mean activities such as viewing pornography, masturbation, visiting prostitutes or using sex chat lines,” it explains, claiming that while for most people such habits don’t cause problems, sex addicts are unable to control these urges and actions.Causes can of course be more complex, while for some – a fast-growing number, according to Hall – it’s simply opportunity-induced.
Of course, here’s the obligatory #notallmen – sure, there will be some guys on there who are respectful of a girl using the app however she wishes – but for the most part, I assumed most men on there would not be receptive to someone like me.
How would men on Tinder treat someone who told them upfront she had a boyfriend?
How would they treat a girl who asked to be left alone?
And would it be different than how women would treat a boy saying the exact same things?
Doug and I decided to set up Tinder profiles to see.This meant two things: 1) One third of the men who messaged me had read all of my profile, including the part in which I said I would not respond to them, and 2) they felt that, since they had read my profile, they were better than average and I owed them a conversation about what I was doing. It was totally disturbing – about 12% of the men who messaged me started out aggressively sexual like this. Four out of his seven messages were simply girls saying “hey” – meaning they also did not read his profile.